Representation

Iana and Sarah decided to watch a movie that evening. They looked up on their smart tv and scrolled among the possible options.

“What are you in the mood for?”

“Dunno, maybe something light. A romcom would do.”

“Gotcha. What about this one?” pointed out Iana.

Sarah quickly read the plot resumé and nodded in favour of it.

It was a romcom starring two women falling in love in the cold winter of Copenhagen.

They started watching the plot unfolding in front of their eyes, while sitting on two different couches.

Sarah leaned down stretching her body the Etruschian way and put her head on a pillow to feel more comfortable.

Iana noticed it and, fearing Sarah would fall asleep and miss the rest of the movie they both had chosen, proceeded to move to Sarah’s couch.

Silently she suggested that she could rest her head on her thighs.

Sarah changed position and cautiously laid on her.

Iana gently stroked her hair and Sarah turned her face towards her with a smile.

Then, a scene caught the attention of the two young ladies.

The two protagonists, Aimee and Nikki, were about to have sex.

While Aimee was progressively going down on her after multiple kisses, Nikki stopped her.

“N-no. Sorry, I don’t feel like it.”

Aimee paused and looked at the other girl puzzled.

“Is there something wrong? Do you want a break?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that…look, I love you, but I can’t do it.”

“Why?”

“I am…asexual. And it’s nothing on you, but I really can’t.”

“Do I repulse you?”

“No, no, you don’t! You’re pretty and fun and I really love talking with you, but this part is not for me.”

“Sorry, but I don’t understand. You like me and such, but not enough to have sex with me, is it?”

“No, Aimee. I do like you, but the idea of sex in general does not attract me and there’s plenty of people out there that feel the same as me. I…don’t feel sexual attraction towards you, nor towards anyone else. I am asexual.”

Sarah and Iana were in awe and widely smiling. Never it happened to them that they had gotten such close representation to what their experience was and they were eager to listen to the rest of the conversation between the two main characters.

“So…does it mean you never fantasize about sex? You never jerked off about anyone real? Will this be like that forever?” asked Aimee.

“I do masturbate, if that’s what you are implying and yes, I might have thought of someone I know in real life but it was never me doing the act, it was just mere fantasies to release stress and tension. And sorry to break it to you but it’s the same as being a lesbian. You should know that you can’t change it. Sure, you might want to have kids one day or to please your partner, if you wish to, but it’s never your willingness to do so.”

“But lesbians do have sex and they are attracted in all its forms to the women they are dating!”

“It’s a different way of being attracted. For me sex and love are two different things. I could make a list of all the terminology attached to it and explain what is the difference, but I am not here to lecture you, I am here to tell you that…I love you and I would give you a hundred thousands kisses, I could caress you, but not in the way you would like me to. That would very much feel forced to me.”

“I…need some time. I’ve never been rejected sexually by someone so…this is all new to me.”

“Sure…I understand it might be complicated and hard for you to process right now, but…that’s me and I love you and I want to be with you. I am not rejecting you. Is that too little for you?”

Aimee stood up from the bed, going in the bathroom, while Nikki remained on the bed crouching in silence.

Iana stopped the movie.

“Why did you stop it?” Sarah asked.

“It’s too much now. I know probably they will reconcile and such, but I need a break from this.”

“Iana…is there any way I could help?”

“No, thank you anyways. I’m gonna get something to drink from the fridge. Do you want a beer? Juice?”

“Oh how about the red wine we have?”

“Ohooo! Are you in the mood for getting drunk tonight? To cope with all the sorrow this scene is giving us?”

Sarah smirked. “No, I think you should be drinking the juice and me the wine.”

“So I will need to drag you to the bed…”

“No, you can just leave me here with a cosy blanket.”

“No, no, no, what if you need to puke? That carpet costs a fortune!”

“Are you more worried about a carpet than me?”

“You’re right! In any case, we have our bed with cosy linen sheets and soft pillows and it’s soooo comfortable.”

Sarah giggled.

“Don’t worry! You won’t miss me in the bed tonight, if that’s what you are afraid of.”

“I am not afraid. I KNOW you will be sharing the bed with me tonight as many other nights. OMG you are SO cute looking!”

“You too.” said Sarah with rosy cheeks. “Now, will we both go to the kitchen or what?”

“Fridge fight?”

“I know I will arrive first, as usual.”

They started running and trying to block one another from reaching the end of the line.

Sarah arrived first.

“Wohoo! I woooooon!”

“I let you win.”

“Sure, hun, as you say!”

Iana leaned in to kiss her. Sarah cupped her face and kissed her back on the lips.

“I hope they will have something like this. In the movie, I mean.”

“I hope so too. There’s not enough representation of people like us. It’s needed!”

“Agreed.”

They took the wine and a can of beer from the fridge and some salted peanuts and slowly went back to the living room.

S.C.